


fire escape

by beware_of_you



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: :), F/F, Oops, actually songs but whose counting, and then i crush your feels, anyway, but first its fluffy, but i'm using it as a plot device anyway, eyelids by pvris, fire escape by love robot, is the paris storyline overused, it's angsty, its about the pining, its another song fic bby, its the same song but love robot is a bit more sad, its typical jemily, probably, probably should listen to the song before you listen, that was my comfort song in hs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27983340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you
Summary: i wish we could spend the night underneath the moonlight and we could talk on the fire escape as we fight the sight of daybreak
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 1
Kudos: 53





	fire escape

**Author's Note:**

> highly recommend listening to the song(s) fire escape by love robot and eyelids by pvris to maybe understand the fic better??
> 
> also the ending sucks per usual but hey maybe one day i can write decent endings :)

JJ looks up from her hands tugging on her loose tank top over to Emily laying on her side on top of the bed. The brunette brings a hand up to stifle the long yawn currently escaping her lips, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hand much like a child would. She blinks hard, forcing herself to sit up more and faces the blonde across the room.

JJ's lips tug down in concern as she observes the other woman: her eyes are red with exhaustion, dark bags extenuating her glassy, slightly unfocused gaze, hair disheveled and messy. She looks completely and utterly drained (she has every right to, but, still).

"Does it hurt?" the blonde asks softly, slowly climbing into bed beside the other woman, eyes darting to Emily's abdomen in worry. Her hand comes up and tucks a scraggly lock of dark hair behind Emily's ear, eyebrows furrowing more in concern. "Do you need me to get something for it?"

Emily seems to liven up slightly once the blonde is beside her, leaning her face into the younger woman's palm with a content sigh. She turns her head, barely brushing the sensitive skin with her lips. "Doesn't hurt," she murmurs lightly. " 'n I took my medicine."

JJ searches her face for any signs of discomfort, puffing out a light breath of relief, convinced. She carefully tangles her fingers in Emily's mass of loose, messed curls, pressing her lips against the older woman's forehead. "Okay," she whispers. "Get some rest. You need it."

Emily doesn't respond to the instructions, but she does lay her head down in the pillow and tucks herself closer to JJ's body. She blinks hard, gazing over adoringly at the blonde. Her palms rest comfortably on the other woman's chest, simply enjoying the vicinity they're in.

Clicking her tongue in dismay, JJ starts running her dulled nails across the other woman's scalp, hoping the soothing movements lull her into much needed slumber.

Emily's eyes close heavily a few times, but she forces them open stubbornly. She pouts at JJ after she opens her eyes a fifth time, tiredly pushing at her wrist. "Stop that. You're making me sleepy."

JJ kisses the very tip of the brunette's nose. "That's the point. You need to rest."

Emily groans lowly, successfully swatting the blonde's hand from her hair. She instead clutches it like a lifeline, lacing their fingers together comfortably. "I don't want to," she murmurs.

"You've barely slept since we landed in Paris, Em," the blonde points out softly. "You need your sleep."

"I'll be fine."

Humming in disagreement, JJ sighs, cupping Enily's cheek with her free hand. "No, you won't. We both know that."

Emily seems to shrink a little at this, unable to meet the blonde's gaze at that statement. She instead focuses on JJ's nails on her fingers; what once were nearly trimmed are now bitten and picked to stubs due to the stress of the last few weeks. Her stomach clenches in guilt at their situation, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth and biting down as her eyes well with unshed tears.

"Please get some sleep?" JJ begs softly, lips barely brushing against the older woman's forehead. "Please?"

Lower lip wobbling despite her best effort, Emily stubbornly plays with the other woman's fingers to avoid looking up and giving herself away. She shakes her head once firmly. "I don't want to," she repeats in a louder tone, voice raw and cracking.

JJ gently tips up Emily's chin, thumb caressing along her cheek and jawline soothingly. Her eyes shine with concern, the unspoken question written plainly on her face.

Emily's mouth opens and closes several times, the tears finally breeching down her cheek. Her breathing hiccups softly and she bites down harder on her lip to contain the noise. "The more time I spend asleep is just less time I get to spend with you."

Her breath hitches as soon as the words leave her mouth, body wracking softly with sobs.

They had one night together. One _single_ night where everything had come pouring out like a geyser of emotions. Years and years of pent up and repressed feelings and confessions had been whispered between them just hours ago. Life had been so _fucking_ easy a few hours ago, their worlds revolving around each other and each other alone. It had been complete bliss.

_"Sometimes we fall for someone where goodbyes come with the sun."_

The words, her own inner thought, had hit Emily like a fucking freight train at JJ's simple suggestion and suddenly her blissful bubble was popped. She was hit with a hard, harsh dose of reality.

The night in Paris with the woman she loves, _has_ loved for the better part of five years, wasn't going to last forever. The morning will come and they'll each be forced to go their separate ways: JJ back to her mission, Emily to...

To where and for how long she's uncertain. She doesn't know shit. The only thing she knows is that she'll no longer be Emily Prentiss.

Because Emily Prentiss is dead. Just as dead as Lauren Reynolds. She has to be to keep everyone safe.

This wasn't _fair_.

Nothing about this was _fair_.

The thought of giving into exhaustion, of closing her eyes and missing out on precious time with JJ makes her blood run ice cold. She had plenty of time to sleep later. Her own exhaustion be damned, she refused to go to sleep and miss out on a single second with the woman she loves.

Emily's breath hitches as she presses her face into the crook of the blonde's neck, inhaling the scent of the hotel's complimentary mint lemon shampoo and vanilla that always seems to be clinging to JJ. Her tears are hot, her breath causing goosebumps to appear on the golden skin beneath her lips. It takes a lot of effort for her to swallow— it hurts— and the force causes more tears to leak from her eyes.

"I... we only have tonight," Emily croaks quietly. "We only have tonight together and who knows how long it will be until we have something like this again?" Her hand moves to gently grasp JJ's shoulder as she gasps out a soft sob. "I don't want to go to sleep and miss out on what little time we have left."

JJ's heart clenches painfully at Emily's words, sucking in a sharp breath at the realization that this isn't forever. Tomorrow, she has to leave Emily alone to her own devices and she has to go away. She has to pretend that this is _real_ , that Emily is really dead and that she's not coming back.

The very thought makes her nauseous.

How is she supposed to give up this very real, very blissful moment of her very existence and pretend it never happened?

How is she supposed to be okay pretending that Emily's not coming back?

How is she supposed to feel okay leaving Emily with nothing but a government issued manila envelope filled with fake identities and leaving her, yet again, on the run to fend for herself with no way to check in to make sure she's okay?

JJ herself was never going to sleep, already resigning to stay up until sunrise to make sure the woman tucked at her side was still very much real and alive. She _had_ to make sure; Emily's funeral had really taken a toll on her. And, after their mutual declaration of love, how was she possibly expected to get any sleep and miss out on Emily, _her_ Emily.

Who knows when she would get the chance to see her again?

"Okay," JJ whispers softly, wrapping her arm carefully around the other woman's chest to avoid the healing wound on her abdomen, fighting hard to steady her voice. "Okay." She briefly buries her face in the older woman's hair, pressing a kiss on the top of her head.

Emily shudders out a relieved breath, hooking her legs around JJ's to keep their bodies as close as they can be. The blonde's body is warm and comforting, her very presence making her feel safe. She turns her head into the other woman's chest, sighing softly there. The words, "I love you," are felt rather than heard, but JJ tightens her arms slightly around Emily's frame the same. "I love you."

There's a short pause.

"Do you regret it?" Emily whispers timidly.

"I would never in a million years ever regret you," JJ's soft, yet firm, reply comes instantly, sighing out softly when the woman in her arms relaxes at the confession.

"It's just... I wish we had more time," the brunette admits softly, sadly.

"We will. We're going to catch Doyle and you're finally going to be safe and you're going to come home and we'll have all the time in the world."

Emily swallows hard. "You sound so sure."

"We will find him," JJ swears thickly. "You have to believe that."

"I'm afraid," the brunette croaks. "He's so dangerous. He won't stop until he gets what he wants and will take out anyone that gets in his way."

"Our team is good at what they do," JJ quietly reminds her. "They're smarter than him, and at this point, they know him better than he knows himself." She cups Emily's face in her palms, smoothing her palms soothingly across her cheeks. She can tell from the hallowed look in her eyes and the steady increase of her heartbeat that Emily's spiraling and attempting to shut her out.

She leans forward, gently pressing their lips together, relaxing immensely when the other woman response is immediate. She drinks in Emily's shuddering sigh, moving her hand down to soothingly rub at the older woman's trembling shoulder. She lets the brunette take control of the kiss, allowing her to dictate the pace and the intensity. When Emily finally pulls back, JJ's more than a little breathless.

She reaches out to tuck a strand of Emily's hair behind her ear. "Hey."

Emily's eyes flick towards hers.

"Just you and me, okay?"

The brunette allows herself to relax in the blonde's hold, tucking her head back beneath her chin and nodding her head there. "Me and you," she confirms quietly.

They sit there intertwined in each other even as the sun starts peeking up over the horizon and as reality starts to sink in. With heavy hearts, they manage to untangle their limbs and get ready for the long, inevitably heartbreaking day, both silently wondering when they'll get the chance to be together again.

That day, and honestly the few days following, blur in Emily's mind together like a disorganized mass. She sometimes has to really think about where she is—Belgium, under the alias Eleah Antoine— instead of focusing on the ghosts of JJ's touch on her body. Most days, she's just sitting in her temporary residence, moving through her days in an almost robotic routine: wake up, take medicine, drink tea, sit and wait, take meds, eat, go to bed, and repeat all the next day. She has no one to talk to, no one she trusts within reach.

She's never felt more alone in her entire life.

She's sitting at her window, staring at the nightscape of the town below and drinking from her mug when the disposable, government issued cell phone in her bag rings. She startles, staring at the device as it lights up green, "Unknown Caller" flashing across the screen in bold, black letters. Her heart rate increases, her palms sweat as she stares at the thing. Her mind races wildly with thoughts of who could have found her, or how they even managed to get the number.

Her internal freakout is cut off by the phone going to voicemail, and she tenses in anticipation, waiting.

" _I'm sorry, the person you are attempting to call has a voice mailbox that has not been set up yet. At the tone, please record your message._ "

Emily sucks in a breath, nervously waiting.

" _Hey, I know I'm not supposed to be calling you, and I probably can't say much. This is going to be very quick, but I can't stop thinking about you._ "

At JJ's voice, all tension immediately leaves Emily's body. Her heart clenches in yearning as she listens to the voice message.

" _I mean, in what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you? I don't even know how this happened.... Well I hope you're having sweet dreams, and that you're safe. I just wanted to remind you that I'll always wait for you to return to me._ "

There's a brief pause, then a sudden urgency in JJ's voice. " _I'm sorry this is so short, I just... I needed you to know. I'll see you soon. I love you._ "

The tone falls flat, signaling the end of the voice message before the phone falls silent once more.


End file.
